ex·pan·sion /ɪkˈspænʃ(ə)n/ (noun)

1. The process of increasing in size and filling more space
2. The process of making a business, organization, or activity grow by including more people, moving into new areas, sell more products, etc
3. Something that has more detail or information than something done before

{Macmillan Dictionary}

 “Expansion” by Paige Bradley.

I cannot even begin to explain what this sculpture represents to me; it’s so powerful & overwhelming that I would like to travel to witness it’s presence for myself. I need to feel it with all of my senses. I need to visit her, not ‘it’. This is more than a sculpture.

She encompasses my being, I do not know how else to explain it. Have you heard the expression, “There is beauty in brokenness”?  Well there is, and this sculpture exudes it. The glow that comes from within, through the cracks and brokenness, when the sun goes down on the horizon- represents the light within us all. All survivors have it; we just need to find it. Search for it. The light within, let it shine through. Illuminate.

The name itself speaks of what I believe; the definition coincides with Teal Lotus. Inclusion of others, expanding beyond your own knowledge to discover more, growth… I feel as if this sculpture IS Teal Lotus. This sculpture is me, and it is you. Let this be a representation, to allow yourself to ‘crack’ and be open to expansion when the time is right. It is ok to shelter yourselves and not permit your inner turmoil, beauty, struggle, light show until you are ready. But when you are ready, you will radiate beyond measure. Thus, you will allow yourself to expand, to grow, and to open beyond your comprehension.

Do you see this beauty is in meditation? Do you notice what position she is in? For those of you who are not knowledgeable of Yoga poses, she is in the Lotus position. How incredible is this? The name of the pose and the pose itself are also significant to me. Do you know what benefits the Lotus pose gives you? It is the sacred pose in which calms the mind and body, perfect for meditation/prayer. I sit in this pose often to center myself, calm my mind to eliminate panic attacks and/or flashbacks. It allows good posture for regulated breathing, to calm your soul. It was and is my center, my grounding technique. The Lotus flower represents many positive attributes; victory, confidence, healing, peace, wisdom and purity.

Let’s talk about the obvious, she is naked. This is powerful. For me personally, I have wrestled with hating my body. I hated how it looked, the vulnerability I felt when it was exposed, the feeling of disgust when I looked into the mirror. I have come a long way since having these negative feelings toward my body described as Body Dismorphia. However, I still have a long journey ahead to full acceptance of my own beauty. Not the beauty defined by society, but the beauty of loving oneself for who you are and not changing a single characteristic. The fact that this sculpture is naked, she is naked, expresses so much.  She is confident in her own skin, not ashamed by its exposure. She owns her beauty; cracks, scars, secrets and all. She shows the world that she is not perfect; that she may be struggling with demons and that she is also overcoming them. She is being no one else but her own; she is at peace with herself. 

I will visit this sculpture someday. I will visit her, I must. I feel deeply connected. It’s almost as if I am a part of this creation, or that it was created for me (and you). I need to visit my light within, my beauty in brokenness…

Artist page: http://www.paigebradley.com/

April 28^th was the second annual Teal Lotus run (walk) and the weather was beautiful. We had 141 registrations {104 pre-registrations, 37 the day of} and 44 of those registrations were Survivors {3 male & 41 female}. We had a collection of attendees; ranging from 4 week old babies to a 86 year old grandma & all ages in between. It is always overwhelming to see the support pour out during events like these; it speaks volumes to survivors everywhere. Knowing that their community is connecting and contributing to make a difference for them can be IS life changing.

I wanted to note to those who actively participate in Teal Lotus events and volunteer to make a difference, survivors in our community are keeping a watchful eye. Even subtle ways of supporting survivors can give them strength, like wearing your Teal Lotus wristband or displaying a Teal Lotus decal on your car. A survivor talked to me recently about the community support and how in awe she is. She said,

“Just a few years ago I couldn’t mention the word rape to anyone without fearing someone would judge me or think that I am ‘dirty’. Now- now I can talk about it. I see Teal Lotus everywhere, and it opens a door for communication. Thank you for giving us hope and an opportunity to heal”.

It’s moments like this that keep the momentum going, to keep spreading hope to survivors that feel like there is none. My wish is that the survivors in attendance Saturday saw the support that surrounded them and received the message that people do care, because they do. It was a beautiful atmosphere with healing energy in the air {I didn’t mean to sound cliché}.

This event was not only to give survivors hope, but to give the community truth. We decided to do a display this year to visually show everyone how many survivors were in attendance {44}. Last minute, we added to the display, with the ‘Survivors Story Board’. I asked if anyone wanted to share their story, a quote, or poem; anything that would speak for them. I am so glad they chose to ‘speak’:

Through this visual display, eyes were opened. I had an individual come up to me and say,

            “I did not realize this was such a problem in our community.”

It’s not only a problem in our community; it is a problem in every community. It is time we start talking about it, to educate and communicate to our community & youth that rape is wrong. Let everyone know that this type of crime is not tolerable and no one deserves to be treated in this way.

It starts here, in little Cozad, NE. Our small community & surrounding areas are the foundation of Teal Lotus’ fund for Survivors. The annual Teal Lotus run (walk) is the main fundraiser of the year for our organization. This year’s support certainly shows in the profit we received from the event:

Imaginary drum roll please…D,d,d,d,D,d,d,D,d, DUM! (that’s typed out drum roll). The total profit from the second annual Teal Lotus run/walk is: $4,300!!!! This money will provide therapy for 12 survivors! Because of YOU, 12 people will receive the help and hope they need to continue their healing. On their behalf and from the bottom of my heart, Thank You!!

If you want to be a part of this mission, there are several ways to do so:

• Volunteer
• Contact Tasia to speak at your school, church, or organization
• Donate
• Purchase Teal Lotus Merchandise {Available @ Drive-In Videos in Cozad, NE}

I will see all your beautiful faces next year, the last Saturday in April, to make another memorable event.

Much love to you all,

T.

I accomplished much in 7 years.

I learned to trust, love and have faith again. You no longer hold it. I have found someone that loves me unconditionally & beyond comprehension, like you said I wouldn’t. He and I have been blessed with two handsome boys who have already learned right from wrong at their tender ages. Have you yet learned? I learned to be true to myself and those who stick by me, are true to me as well. Do you still lie to fulfill your needs?

I discovered I have worth & meaning, which led to my non-profit that will make a difference. I am beautiful, without makeup, regardless of what you said. I am smart and strong, even on my weakest day. You told me I wasn’t good enough for life, but now I know you were talking to yourself. I pity you for how you used me to accomplish a self-esteem high, I am not a thing.

I value my mind & skills, so I am back on the same ground as I was 7 years ago earning my college degree. I am no longer scared. I gain strength every day I step foot on campus, I’m succeeding. I will not stunt my ability to help others because of your hopes of diminishing my dreams. You gave me an obstacle and I overcame it, you will not keep me down.

I accomplished much in 7 years.

I am no longer a girl that keeps quiet, but a woman who ROARS! I don’t stand by when someone is wronged; I stand UP and RISE against! I’m not weak in faith, but walk every step with the Lord! I’m building an army of truth and you cannot touch my Armor! Good will prevail, I have hope. I hold on to hope.

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
Maya Angelo

Happy 7^th Anniversary, to me.

In early 2010 I struggled with my story that I was grasping onto, hoping that it wouldn’t
slip through my fingers without my permission. Terrified that someone would find
out, like it was written all over my face, displayed like an open book for all
to read.  Anxiety overcame me, like I was being chased by my past with nowhere to hide.
I had nightmares about my dirty secret being spread like wildfire and I had no way of
extinguishing it. I knew I needed help in order to put an end to this torture that seeped out
of my past into my future; it was tainting me, my thoughts, even my body.

The day came that I decided to seek help, but with this, I needed to allow my story to be
heard. It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make, turning into one of the
most life changing decisions that I did make!

As you know (if you’ve read my past blogs) soon after my recovery, The Teal Lotus Project
was born. Today marks the one year anniversary month (September) of The Teal Lotus
Project being founded. My choice of celebration, to announce the commencement
of the long awaited Teal Lotus Therapy Program! Your day has come, fellow survivors.

The Teal Lotus Therapy Program is a collaboration between the Project and qualified,
licensed therapists in the Nebraska region. If you are a survivor of child sexual abuse
and/or sexual assault at any age, and are struggling with the decision to receive
therapy because of lack of funds, please consider filling out an application.
You must apply to the program and be accepted prior to seeking a therapist,
because with this program we select only therapists in participation with The Teal Lotus Project.

To apply, go to the resources tab and click on The Teal Lotus Project Therapy Program
link. The link will take you to a PDF saved file, open it and print it off.
Mail your application to:

The Teal Lotus Project
PO Box 52
Cozad, NE 69130

Congratulations to those of you breaking through your walls and telling your story for the
first time, I’m proud of you! Know that you are supported, loved and believed.
Let your journey of healing begin.

God bless,

T.

Notice:
Just by inquiring about the program does not guarantee acceptance, Tasia and
the TLP Board of Directors have the right to deny inquires if they deem fit. The
Board of Directors will vote by case number, names are never revealed. There are
criteria in order to qualify; one being financially bound by any circumstance (low-income,
one income, single parent, layoff, prosecution debt, etc.). Please do not go to
any therapy office of your choice and say TLP will cover the costs, because
this is inaccurate. There is a precise system that is involved with your
sessions and how they will be paid and contracted. TLP will not back pay for
sessions already completed.  If you apply and are accepted, you’ll receive mail from
The Teal Lotus Project that will explain the process in detail. Only serious inquiries please.

The Teal Lotus Therapy Program is underway, but we are in need of licensed therapists willing to participate with the Project in Nebraska. We have therapists in Gothenburg, Cozad, Lexington and Kearney already on board. We are in need of therapists in or around Omaha, Lincoln, York, Grand Island, North Platte and Ogallala to start. We would have a nice solid line through Nebraska of therapists, but I want to branch out into the counties below and above this line to cover more counties in Nebraska to help even more survivors if possible.

OR, If you are a survivor in Nebraska looking to apply for this program, let me know your location, and I can investigate to see about qualifying therapists in your region. This way we’ll know that there is a need for therapy in that particular community.

If you are a therapist interested or have references of applicable licensed therapists please email Tasia at TealLotusProject@gmail.com for more information. Be prepared to have an interview with Tasia, fill out a form and provide a copy of your license (All participating therapists must do this for their safety, and the safety of future clients).

Thank you in advance for your inquiries,

Tasia Aden
Founder/Director, The Teal Lotus Project

NOTICE:
Just by inquiring about the program does not qualify a therapist to be a good fit with The Teal Lotus Therapy Program. Tasia has the right to deny inquiries if she deems fit. We are looking for qualified licensed therapists to help individuals with child sexual abuse and/or sexual assault survivors of all ages of either gender. Only serious inquires please.

The month of April has come and gone, and I’m pretty pleased with the events that took place. I got to meet a nice group of Husker football players who were very sweet and put on the TLP bands right away to show their support. Met Matthew West and Josh Wilson, both Christian musicians, who were touched by my project and donated signed CD’s to give away at my event at the end of the month. Had a very generous woman, now friend, offer to do a clothing show in support of my project-which was an amazing turnout! This was the first week of April alone!
The following week I had my first LIVE television interview with NTV’s Good Life that went great. Those women were so sweet and interested in what I was doing, couldn’t have had a better first TV interview. That same day I was interviewed by the Kearney Hub which printed a few days later. I went to a Stewards of Children training to help me spread the message on how to protect our children in our communities.
I registered for my summer UNK courses, so I’m officially a Loper again! I was even able to enroll in a couple of honors courses, so I feel blessed. Hopefully gas prices won’t get in the way of my education, we’ll see, it’ll all work out.
I had my second television interview through KNOP TV, North Platte. They came to my home for this interview, so that was a fun experience. A few days later I had my second newspaper interview as well, with the North Platte Telegraph. Not to mention KRVN, a local radio station, promoting The Teal Lotus run throughout the month. I am so grateful for the exposure and interest of our area media coverage.
And for the big event that was set for the last day of April, going out with a bang! The first annual Teal Lotus Run, what an amazing turnout! It was a chilly morning, but that didn’t stop anyone from coming out to support. We had 133 runners/walkers who attended the first annual Teal Lotus run. 26 of them notified me to let me know that they are survivors, one was a male. After the run I told my story and how the Project came about, I had four more people tell me that they were survivors that weren’t in the count. So a total of 30 people there (that told me, I still feel like there were more but weren’t ready to ‘say’ so) were survivors! That’s approximately 23% of the attendance.
I am so incredibly proud of these survivors, that was a huge step, to speak of the horror that they went through. I have high hopes that we’ll have an even bigger turnout for next year’s event.
A HUGE thank you to my family, friends and community for their continued support. And kudos to my Teal Lotus committee for helping me organize this event, you know who you are.
The month of April is over, but the fight is not. Please continue to acknowledge and spread awareness about this horrific crime.
Applications will be available soon for survivors to fill out for qualification and begin their counseling journey. I am finalizing some legal wording and some criteria with counselors willing to help. It will begin soon, stay tuned.
T

We’re eight days into April and had one event already, which was a success. CAbi consultant, Rhonda Pandorf, offered to have this show and give 20% of all sales to The Teal Lotus Project. CAbi; Carol Anderson by invitation, is a clothing line ‘known for its design innovation, exceptional quality, and outstanding CAbi Consultants’. It was a really fun experience to host this show; I can’t even express the right amount of gratitude to those of you who are supporting my cause one way or another.
I had the opportunity to speak a little about the first chapter of my story that not many know about and why I started The Teal Lotus Project. I apologize for my reading instead of eye contact, I didn’t quite prepare as much as I’d liked, I’ll get better I promise!

Rhonda closes the orders Sunday, April 10th. You still have time, www.rhondapandorf.cabionline.com

This coming Tuesday (4/12) I’ll be on NTV’s Good life, so be sure to DVR it or tune in.

There’s something else I’d like to mention, April 27th is Denim Day. ‘The Denim Day campaign began in 1999 with CALCASA and LACAAW, the Los Angeles Commission on Assaults Against Women, as part of an international protest of an Italian Supreme Court decision to overturn a rape conviction because the victim was wearing jeans. The Italian Supreme Court dismissed charges against a 45-year old rape suspect because his 18-year-old victim was wearing jeans at the time of the attack. The Court stated in its decision that “It is common knowledge…that jeans cannot even be partly removed without the effective help of the person wearing them….and it is impossible if the victim is struggling with all her might.” The judgment sparked a worldwide outcry from those who understand coercion, threats and violence go along with the act of rape. The unpopular verdict became an international symbol of myth-based injustice for sexual assault victims.’

Denim Day is an outward example of how a community can help change people’s perceptions about violence against women, men and children. Please support this day by wearing denim.

And lastly, The Teal Lotus Run is April 30th at 8am. Start filling out your FORMS. April 15th is the deadline for $15 forms, after that they’re $20. This is also the end date for the family fee option. Reminder to survivors to send me an email stating that they are a survivor. I have plans of recognizing survivors at the run, please participate, it’s private.
If you ever have any questions for me or about the project, you can contact me at: teallotusproject@gmail.com.

I’ve been trying to incorporate my community (not only survivors) with my Project. There is now a spot on my website for Survivors to submit their own stories to allow them to have a voice, but I got to thinking, what about the community’s voice? I have received some beautiful emails, letters and phone calls (yes, phone calls) after I told my story. It was such an amazing experience to realize I was surrounded by love and support, it was truly comforting. So I was wondering what my readers thoughts were on a ‘We Care Project.’? A project within ‘The Teal Lotus Project.’ in sorts; where friends, family or even acquaintances can speak about their thoughts and give encouragement to the Survivors.

I would like this website to be an uplifting, comforting and encouraging resource for survivors. I believe if they see that complete strangers care and think they are brave, it will give them hope. Would any of my readers be willing to participate?

In order to do so, you must register first. Then Post your encouraging words or story of the survivor (if they’re willing to be named, you can also do this anonymously) you admire. I will review all posts before they’re published, so I’ll pick the appropriate page (Survivor Stories, The We Care Project) to select.

[Keep in mind, you're nickname you choose when you register will be the author that's published.]

Take this opportunity to change the stigma attached to this crime and let survivors of women, men and children know that they are strong individuals. Let them know you care, even if you aren’t a survivor yourself.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
-Leo F. Buscaglia

Hello my dear Friends.

I want to tell you about some exciting news regarding my NEW website design and the useful tools that incorporate YOU. Also, if you haven’t noticed, the new web address is www.theteallotusproject.com.

Let’s go from left to right on the menu bar.

The Home page is a brief description of the project. On the right side bar, you can enter your email address for The Teal Lotus Project subscription. You can scroll down and also see that you can become a fan on my facebook Teal Lotus page and you can see portions of the most recent TLP blog posts.

The next page is My Story, which tells about my experience in college and how I have overcome it. It may be triggering.

The Contact page is where you can submit questions, comments and/or inquiries, requests about speaking engagements directly to me.

Resources is a page of my favorite sites. A few of them I have found recently and a few have helped me tremendously in my healing process from the very beginning.

Next in line is the Blog page, where you are now.

Now for the exciting page, Register, is where you can register to The Teal Lotus Project and then have rights to tell  your personal story through the community page [Which will post on the Survivor Stories page] or communicate in The Teal Lotus Forum, which is a message board designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, incest and domestic violence.

[Tips for Forum]

• Your nickname that you choose will be what is published when you post, so keep that in mind if you want to be anonymous.
• Please don’t use this forum as a substitute for prefessional therapy and/or health care professionals.
• This is a space for Survivors and Secondary Survivors to come and support each other.

The Events page will have all the upcoming events scheduled for the month. There are links to help you learn more about each event on this page.

Survivor Stories, is the page where after you register and make a post of your personal story, it will be located on this page after my approval.

Last, the Shop. I’m hoping to bring a Spring line of hats and possible new t-shirt designs online soon. I want to incorporate the online world to the TLP gear, this process is new to me, so bare with me. I’m in high hopes that this will be a successful process of distributing TLP gear.

This is the new site in a nutshell. Now become a part of The Teal Lotus community and register now!

T.